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Wednesday, October 01, 2008

That's not just the USA..

by mfh (56) Alter Relationship on 2:20 Wednesday 01 October 2008 (#25209573) Homepage Journal

Dear Constituent,

We know you are a human being, or at least you believe that matters to us, but sadly, our mailboxes are too small and cannot possibly handle the number of emails you people wish to send. We lose them anyway and we never read them so why bother. Also, when we built the mailboxes, we only anticipated hearing from 0.001% of our constituents, not this whopping 1.02% contact ratio we're experiencing!

We have assessed the situation and believe that you fall under one of the following categories:

1. You are whining about something that we did to hurt your feelings.
2. You want us to do something.
3. You have a complaint.

Here are some generic responses to help you cope:

Category #1: (You are whining about something that hurt your feelings.)
Sorry. Vote for me in 2008!

Category #2: (You want us to do something.)
We are already doing everything we can. KTHXBYE. Vote for me in 2008!

Category #3: (You have a complaint.)
GTFO. Canada is that way -------> Vote for me in 2008!

Therefore, while we will gladly take your taxes from you, we have some bad news. We can't hear you. La la la la la la la la what? can't hear you! la la la la la...

No no... that's all you have to say.

Besides, we'll do whatever we want to anyway.

Vote for me in 2008!

Kind Regards,
Your Douchebag Government

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