Church Admits Touching Children and Covering it Up Not Such a Good Idea.
Pope John Paul George Ringo the Third officially stated via the openly gay pontiff's Jupiter-hosted website [www.catholic.popestuff2], "We've had a little time to think about it and we finally understand that whole uproar or whatever. Hey like the third testament says in Bieber 10:15 'Whatever you want shawty I'll give it to ya'."
He went on to say, "Here's some water! Hope that makes up for it."
Editor's Note: Catholicism was a dominant religion centuries ago in which old men in funny hats told others what to do.
Editor's Editor's Note: Religion was a wide-held belief that ideas found in stories millenniums old should be used to rule our lives. Not kidding.
(article translated from Chinese via Skybot Vacuum Cleaner with Babel Attachment)